Once you really hurt me you will loose me

I am a sensitive soul, but I still forgive. I still forget about it and take people back. I find it beautiful that I have the heart to understand people and their flaws. I realize that sticking to your ego makes you lose good people. So after I cool down, I do come out with my apologies and acceptance. But these are for things that happen out of anger and misunderstandings. Things happen, and we should not drag them forever, I agree. But some things are beyond hurt. They don’t hurt your ego. They hurt your soul. They hurt more because you never expected it from that person. You feel cheated, totally betrayed, and heartbroken. You feel worse because now everything that you felt and was told seems a lie. Everything seems fake. You go from feeling angry to feeling heartbroken. And when I go through those tears and emotions for you, it is beyond redemption. I can’t take you back. No apologies will work, no explanations, no, nothing. My feelings don’t die all of a sudden, but they do go numb. So numb that I can’t even find tears to shed them.

So if I tell you that you have made my soul cry, that you have left a scar on my soul, then do take it as my goodbye too. I will fall weak, but I won’t go back. I might feel lonely for a long, long time. I might be all miserable without you, but I won’t take you back. I will suffer the pain that I brought on myself. I will cry the tears that I chose for myself. I will live the sleepless nights that are my punishment for trusting the wrong person. I will suffer everything for my choice, my mistake. Because I know that healing needs suffering. You need to rinse your soul of your own mistakes. And only then you can start a new chapter of your life. And I will start that chapter with no trace of your name on my pages. You will be just a memory, not in my life, not on my paper. So, don’t lose me. Don’t do something so hurtful that you can’t even say sorry.